Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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