i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize