When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
