I can text with my tongue
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
