Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
