I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
