Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
