I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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