The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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