Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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