covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
