happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
