At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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