I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
