He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
