GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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