Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just had sex bonerless
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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