mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
