It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
