i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
