Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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