i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
