just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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