you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
