just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
