you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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