quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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