soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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