Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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