So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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