Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
too bad you live with your parents still
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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