so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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