The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
handjob tips. give me some.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
