I want to stick my p in your. b.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
