I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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