ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
