It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
