I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
