I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
