I got chris browned last night
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
