His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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