you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Randomize
