i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
