Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
