I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
