ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
