party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
