Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The Olympian is in my bed
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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