tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
