everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
