He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
