Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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