oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
