I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Mom said you looked used
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
