Don't you send me to vm
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
