I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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