i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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