Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
