I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
