he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
