i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
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