you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
