The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
