Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
